2025
Declarative statements at the start of a new year feel categorically unwise. Research shows that each time we commit to ourselves and fail, we chip away at our self-efficacy, and our ability to trust ourselves diminishes over time. That said, this year is profoundly different. The bold and transformative growth I’ve made over the last year necessitates both reflection and intentionality. So, rather than make a declarative resolution, I would like to offer myself tenets, words of wisdom to lean on and return to in the coming year:
Stop romanticizing the idea of doing everything on your own. Accept the support of those who have earned your trust.
I have become a person who is doggedly determined to figure it all out on my own, to never ask for help if possible. How developed this erroneous dogma is likely tied up in childhood and past experiences. No matter the cause, my tendency to retreat and become a recluse under stress is rooted in a fear that others will see that I don’t have it all together. The funny thing is no one has their shit together, and the false belief that I must pretend that I do is exhausting as hell. In 2025, I intend to remind myself that when life gets hard, withdrawing from others keeps me stuck; community is a necessary ingredient for me to thrive. I have a tribe of friends and family, including my supportive parents and loyal friends, who love and support me no matter what, and I can and should lean on them when I need to.
Only be as generous to people as they are to you.
I am loving and accepting, generous with my words, time, and energy. I have found that there are people who appreciate and treasure these parts of me, but there are many who do not. My energy and time are precious, and I honor the need to use them judiciously in service to people and experiences that fill my cup, such as spending quality time with my family, engaging in meaningful conversations with friends, and pursuing my creative passions. Any energy extended to people who do not value or appreciate me is wasted.
Love yourself with rest and ease as much as possible.
I have officially retired from 'hustle culture'‘, a term that refers to the societal pressure to constantly strive for more, to always be better, and to never be satisfied with our current state. The greatest mythology of our modern world is the belief that we must always seek to be better, to climb the success ladder through a title, wealth, physique, intellect, athletic prowess, and popularity. The invisible message here is that we are never enough. I want to cultivate a life rich with rest, peace, and acceptance rather than one riddled with anxiety, imposter syndrome, competition, and exhaustion. I lovingly permit myself to put down my cape and take a nap when I need to. There is nothing to prove to anyone but myself.
The year ahead promises to be one of great tension and transformation. Though there will be many things I cannot control, I can honor the tenets above to offer my nervous system a generous dose of love and protection.